A week ago my life changed in an irreversible way with the birth of my daughter.
It was a natural birth – The most terrifying and the most beautiful experience I ever had. In one way I wish we were back in the 50’s where the men anxiously walked around in the waiting room, I have seen things no man should ever have to see. Still I am so happy I was there, I have seen things all men should see. The feeling when you see the head of your child for the first time cannot be explain, just writing this and think back to that moment bring tears to my eyes.
It is all so overwhelming. I just didn’t expect to be so much on the business side, I had only prepared to support and focus on Miss Z.
Miss Z had a very good pregnancy. None of the common problems. Even the emotional fluctuations were very moderate. It was just the last days with contractions that was hard on her.
With that said it was not a flawless 9 month, mostly due to cultural issues. Healthcare, traditions and religion differs a lot between Mexico and Sweden. A good example is the ultra sound, we found out we were having a child while in Mexico and during 2 month Miss Z had 5 ultra sounds. Back in Sweden we had a regular check at week 18 (I went with her, another thing not very common in Mexico), by some reason we did not found out the sex. We didn’t ask, the doctor didn’t ask if we wanted to know, or maybe she didn’t see. Anyway we thought we ask at the next check, much to our surprise, even to me, there never were a next check.
If everything is fine there is no unnecessary examinations done, which make sense, why put extra stress on fetus and mother?
Of course there are still regular appointments with the mid-wife to follow up weight, blood count and other vital signs, but that was it.
Now I am deviating, back to the point. We never found out the sex which was fine by me and I think my family took it well. It was a little strange at first for Miss Z but for her family it was very hard to accept for a while.
Actually a friend of mine had, for me incomprehensible, problem with it when I was buying clothes.
“How do you know what to buy, you don’t know the sex?!”
Really? Sweden 2014 and you think I only buy princess pink or baby blue clothes? I thought we had evolved further than that.
Then it was the name. If you think it is hard to find the right name, try find something that works in both Mexico and Sweden.
We had problems finding a name for a boy, but I think I somehow knew it would be a girl all along because Maya just came to me, it was so right. Works in both Spanish and Sweden. In Sweden usually spelled Maja and is a forn Norse word meaning ‘clothe with leaves’ and Maya in Mexico of course brings you back to a powerful, highly developed, ancient civilization.
The months flew by, what seems to be a lifetime away was suddenly upon us. I came home from work a Monday and Miss Z told me she had felt contractions all day but not too bad.
Tuesday was much worse, by 11 PM she called the maternity clinic and was told to come for a check. Unfortunately we were sent back home, it was too early.
I went to work again Wednesday but had problem focusing. Miss Z called me once and said it was more painful but she is strong and forced through. Back home from work I saw she was in agony and I was amazed she hadn’t asked me to come home earlier. To not repeat Tuesday, going just to be sent home she waited as long as she could but finally called the clinic again.
Just before leaving for a second time Miss Z said something that will follow me forever;
“Are you going to leave the chili like that?”
OK, I have spent a lot of time and effort to grow my chili plants during the Swedish winter, but in context not so important.
We were back the obstetrics at 11:30 PM. This time it was really happening and somewhere around this time it finally hit me –
I am going to be a father.
It literally knocked the air out of me but this was not the time for freaking out. Miss Z needed my presence and support, the coming eight hours would prove to be really tough and I have never felt so worthless. Miss Z was in terrible pains and I could do very little.
Hour after hour of blood, sweat and tears she was finally here – Maya, my warrior princess.
All parents think their babies are the cutest. I usually think newborns looks like mini pigs, small, a little pinkish and all wrinkle. But Maya must truly be the most adorable little girl ever born.
It is a strange feeling, she is lying here beside me and I love her more than I ever loved another human, at the same time I can’t really understand she is my daughter.